Try reading this list of Samy Vellu most notorious statements and not laugh. Impossible I tell you, impossible…

1. Commenting on the speed and efficiency of Pos Laju’s delivery system:”Besok kirim, hari ini sampai!” [Uish...camner tu yer? Mustahil tu]

2. At a TV interview, when trying to say he was ashamed, he said:”Kemaluan saya besar.” [Yang sebenar dia nak cakap saya malu besar]

3. Samy Vellu once said in a speech:”Kita akan bina satu jambatan untuk orang-orang kampong di sini.”One Pakcik asked, “Datuk, sini takde sungai, buat apa bina jambatan?”and Samy gloriously replied, “Kalau takde sungai, kita bina sungai!”

4. Samy ‘s favorite quote on national television:”Toll naik sikit, manyak marah saya. You ingat semua ini toll saya punya bapa punya kah!?”

5. During the water crisis:”Semua orang diminta jangan membuang aiyerr.” [Yang sebenar dia nak cakap jangan membazir air]

6. Regarding social problems:”..orang-orang muda sekarang banyak hisap dada..” [Yang sebenar dia nak cakap hisap dadah]

7. At a blood donation campaign in Sungei Siput:”..marilah kita semua menderma dara..” [Yang sebenar dia nak cakap menderma darah]

8. During the height of the Al-Arqam saga, he said in a press conference:”Saya gembira bahawa didapati tiada pemuda MIC terlibat dalam kes Arqam.”

9. At an opening ceremony:”Tuan-tuan dan puan-puan, saudara mara, sesudah semua orang makan kenyang, sekarang kita mempersilakan Datin Paduka Rafidah Aziz naik ke pentas untuk membuka kain.” [Yang sebenar dia nak cakap menarik tirai untuk rasmikan majlis]

10. Commenting about his modesty:”Sebenarnya, kemaluan saya sangat-sangat besar.” [Yang sebenar dia nak cakap dia dapat malu besar]

11. Pilihanraya:”Orang PAS selalu kafir sama orang, saya pun dia kafirkan.” [Hehehe...tak tahu nak komen ler..]

12. On the leak issue at the Parliament:”Itu attap bocor sebab ada banyak sampah! Awak ingat saya kasi bawa naik itu sampahkah?”